How saying only kind words changed my life, 6 years later

In 2014, Kindness Blog published my piece on how saying only kind words changed my life. At that time I had been experimenting with kindness and writing about it for 2.5 years. Some of my pieces for Kindness Blog were then published in the Huffington Post which then led me to teach a workshop at the 2015 Bulletproof Biohacking Conference in Pasadena, CA called "Hacking More Gratitude and Kindness" (for one's health). 

This is an update how kindness has impacted my life. You can read my original post here.

I started my first Kindness Challenge on 6/6/2012 and pledged to say nothing negative about myself and others for 6 months. If I said anything negative I owed whoever I was talking to $1. After 6 months, I decided I never wanted to go back to my old ways. I stuck with it and added new habits. 

It's now November of 2018 and while I no longer pay out dollars or severely restrict my speech, here's what I notice is different about my life for the better:

• I feel guilty when I say something negative about someone. I notice it immediately! Guilt can be a positive emotion that helps us to change unwanted behaviors. I have awareness. I apologize to people. I do better next time.
• I no longer blame other people if I can take action in my life to create change. Sometimes people really do suck. But it's not their fault if I'm having a bad day. I choose my attitude. There are lots of injustices I can't control. For example, as a woman, I'd love to get paid an equal wage as men for the same work. I can't make that change happen with my own actions. I don't have to be happy about it but I also don't need to let it ruin my life. So there are levels here. I don't blame individuals for creating my moods. I choose how I want to feel. I take actions on behalf of myself and for justice and equality for all of us.
• The previous point relates to having more personal power. I have owned my power to create change. Doing the Kindness Challenge helped me realize my power. 
• That original challenge was the catalyst for other changes in my life: from quitting sugar starting Jan 1, 2016, to running my first marathon in 2014 and deciding "I'm an athlete if I do the work," overcoming a lot of mental blocks and body shame, to changing my inner voice from hurtful-sounding to loving-sounding (a work in progress!), to sharing with others what I admire about them. And on and on. I take on challenges. I change quickly.
• That project has led me to such cool opportunities such as leading workshops in NYC, Barcelona, Paris, and Los Angeles. Wow! So much gratitude. Who knew that's where a simple kindness challenge would take me?
• I now know the power of kindness to transform the world we live in. It starts with us. BEING the change means finding our inner peace no matter what the external circumstances. It doesn't mean I'm perfect! No way! But I have experienced first hand how dramatically everything can shift when I tweak one little behavior for the better. 
• This project has helped me as a coach. I have seen my own power and ability to choose how I show up and how I take action and I now can see that potential in everyone else. It helps me coach my clients to see more in themselves and show up bigger and better than before, casting aside fears and doubts. 

I'm sure there are more benefits! I must say, I feel the healthiest and happiest I've ever felt and it's the result of taking on new challenges each day--each moment. Not staying complacent. It's not to say I don't have bad days, weeks, months, or years--I totally do! But I feel resilient. And I believe in my ability to get through it no matter how dark my thoughts get (and they can get really dark!). I believe in my ability to ask for help. My ability to change, learn, and grow. 

I believe in my ability to see the good in myself and others. And the good in this life despite all the terrible things and all the injustices. This is our life's work.